George Good

Villanelle on a Theme by Groucho Marx

I would not join a club that wanted me.
Your Shriners, Friars, even Optimists
would take no pleasure in my company.

The secret handshakes of Freemasonry
I’ll never know. I’d rather slit my wrists
than press the flesh in clubs that wanted me.

To all those singles clubs who’d like to see
my name on their prospective members lists:
I’m most unpleasant in mixed company.

And back when by congressional decree
they tried to make me join the militarists,
I told my Uncle Sam: “You don't want me.”

Some faiths say God is one and some say three,
but since my thinking jibes with atheists
there’d be no pleasing either company.

As to that biggest club, Democracy,
I’ll take my stand among the anarchists.
I would not join a club that wanted me —
they’d take no pleasure in my company.